<< Prev | Most Recent | Next >>
This slide is about body language. Hold on a moment. I'm not going to start asking you to fake illness during a meeting so you can slip out. This slide is about two things.
First, learn how to stop yourself when your body language is lying. For example, I'm a big guy and I have long arms. Crossing my arms feels comfortable and very natural to me. But people may misinterpret that body language (crossed arms or legs) as my being closed-minded to their ideas. So I don't do that.
My advice is to stay aware of the effect you're having on people, and stop your body from lying about your inner state.
Second, as part of being a little paranoid, and also to increase your social perception, learn to use body language cues to read other people. I'm not telling you to start placing bets here — body language can never let you read minds. But it's an important instrument. If you can tell when someone's anxious, you can help them feel more at ease.
Making eye contact is just one way to do this. Back on the books slide I recommended "You Can Get Anything You Want", by Roger Dawson, which has a great section on body language.
While we're on this topic, whenever someone shakes my hand and squeezes really hard, I am most definitely not thinking, "Oh, what a cool macho man, I must do business with him." Usually I am thinking, "Ow! What are you doing to my hand, you moron?".
This is basic, but bear with me here. To shake hands, step forward, make eye contact, grip but do not squeeze, and shake once. While you're at it, repeat the person's name out loud both to confirm you got it right and to signal that you are paying attention. Saying it out loud will also run take the name on a little jog around the block in your brain that will help you remember it later.
Click next or prev for more Johnny Monsarrat Lectures.
Leave a comment